Is communicates very tough ?

I thought communicates helps a lot.
It never happens.

Early stage,
i communicates,
i feel Fine, Happy and addicted.
In the end,
i still wants to continue it,
i still wants to stop it,
i dunno what to choose,
So at last,
i never choose.

Sometime i feel jealousy,
Sometime i feel uncomfortable,
Sometime i feel got no choice,
Sometime i feel wants to be everything,
Sometime i feel cold-blooded,
Why not u teach me not to feel ?

Everytime i think about u,
Everytime i think want to be with u,
- This is not the time :(
Everytime i think was the only person.. u talk to with,
- Is impossible.

p/s Why my life is so hard ?
- Currently I'm trying to store my body inside my house.
- Even though I'm thinking of u,
- I still feel my life is being silent by everything.
- I got no choice.